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    I Went To An Actual Vag Pageant

    I generally have a strong disdain for gimmicky strip club events and formal exotic dance pageants, but I feel like a child on Boxing Day now. I boasted to a friend that I could win with toilet paper stuck to my junk, which I figure is the vaginal equivalent of doing a one-armed pushup. Ultimately, I was too confused read: wimpy to compete, but I did stop by to check it out just for the fresh blog material. There were heart balloons and I scored an extremely large bottle of JO anti-bacterial toy cleaner, condoms, lube, and something called Beav-R-Light, which apparently is a non-toxic luminous gel for my lady parts. Not only did we look to see what everyone was working with, we ended up with personal favorites whom we found ourselves rooting for in the final round.
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    Photo courtesy of Hypnox. Here's how tough it is to win the Vagina Beauty Pageant: The woman who made her vagina lip - sync Snoop Dogg's "Ain't No Fun" into a tiny rhinestone microphone didn't even place , and in l ast year 's competition , a woman with two vaginas only came in third place. This year, only three of the 22 competitors walked away with trophies in their hands and prizewinning vaginas between their legs. An event called the Vagina Beauty Pageant isn't trying for subtlety. Since , the Portland strip club DJ and promoter has produced the event as part of his mission to elevate the national profile of Portland's strip club scene.
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