Illustration by Cathryn Virginia. Fetishists aside, most people are not comfortable with the idea of gas and feces sneaking into their sex lives. Never mind that sex is by its nature a little messy, and that sometimes a little poop will make its way into the mix thanks to illness, anal play, or any other number of factors; waste is just a taboo and a turn off. So it should come as no surprise that many people do not look at those with ostomy bags or pouches —essentially external colons that collect waste from a stoma, an opening created in the abdomen to bypass the rectum and parts of the intestines—as sexual prospects. Often, pop culture and jokes do not even portray them as sexual beings, reducing them instead to cursed figures shackled to unwieldy, unpredictable, and precarious bags of noxious shit.
Intimacy and Sexuality When You Have an Ostomy
Hannah Witton shares how to have sex when you have a stoma | Metro News
The good news is that it may not have any impact at all. Yes, it is possible to continue to have a healthy sex life — or even improve upon it — after ostomy surgery. DO start slowly. Keep in mind that tenderness and romance make sex pleasurable as well. Remember that loving, kissing, and touching are an important part of sexuality. How do people with stomas have sex? The same way as people without stomas.
I Have a Bag Instead of a Rectum. This Is How It Affects My Sex Life
Sexual relationships and intimacy are important and fulfilling aspects of your life that should continue after ostomy surgery. But there is a period of adjustment after surgery, and some ostomies can affect intimate relationships more than others. Communication is a key factor in re-establishing sexual expression and intimacy. Ostomy surgery may present more concerns for single people. When you choose to tell that someone special depends on the type of stoma you have, and the relationship you have with the other person.
My wife recently underwent surgery for ulcerative colitis and now has a temporary ileostomy. Resuming sexual activity after ostomy surgery can be an emotional and challenging time for both you and your wife. She will be coping with the effects of the surgery, adaptation to a new skill, and changes to self-perceptions body image, attractiveness. As her partner, you may be worried about causing her discomfort during intercourse, or even about your own reaction to the pouch and stoma. There are some steps, which both you and your wife can take, to make the transition back to sexual activity more enjoyable for both of you.